The first blog (14th September 2015)

Here goes with the first blog. My name is Abbie Allen. I guess from all the experiences I’ve been through, I find using words is a comfort or an escape from the horrors and the pain around me sometimes. The worst parts were school. British schooling seems to be the worst.

For somehow getting through thirteen years worth of bullying from the age of three years old to fifteen years old, I find that whenever I see friends are hurting because of things around them, I try and help them through it because I know how it feels to have no support and it just being you to get through the chaos you’re stuck in. The questions always popping into your mind “What do I do?” “How can I get out of this?” are many examples of the thoughts we wish we didn’t have in school. I even went through a part in school where if I got injured, I would pretend it was worse than it was, just so I would be able to go home early.

It got better as I left school ad got into college to do Acting. People were more welcoming and I found my confidence grew more than it had in my entire life. I didn’t think I could sing as well as I can now and I’m proud of that. But of course, here comes the cliche, once it goes good it has to turn bad again. My first year of University in Cardiff meant a new start, a new chapter. Only for me, it meant I was put with two people in a flat that already knew each other, came from the same place, clicked as people and were loud party animals (the complete opposite of me). I found myself cornered, stuck and trapped in what was meant to be a joyful experience. Dude, I had it so wrong. I could add another year onto the total of bullying I had been put through. I couldn’t sing in my own room, couldn’t play the guitar and then they would play loud music, have people round and then for them to move the party round the flat to cover both sides of the walls I tried to sleep in. Moving it from their room round to the other side into the kitchen was cruel. I even asked for them next time not to and they only went and told me they wanted to relax the way they wanted to, no matter how loud it got. Luckily, this year, my second year of university, I’m with two lovely people from my course of BA (Hons) Scriptwriting.

Apologies if this sounds like some weird rant. I seem to do that when I don’t mean to. One thing I an be certain of is that this blog writing might just help me turn a corner and help me to be even more confident in what I can do, as I still doubt what gifts I seem to have been given. Hopefully, whoever reads these blogs will be able to find their gifts and find help to get over the hurdles in front of them to achieve the awesome things in life.

Love,

Abbie Allen

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